Ashley has always said that she wanted her kids names to mean something, or at least to represent something of importance. I love the name Hadassah because of what it represents and whom it represents and as our little girl grows up she will know where her name came from and what it means.
Hadassah comes from the Old Testament book of Esther. The story of Esther occurs during the Jewish exile that was prophesied by the prophet Jeremiah among others. She was a Jewish orphan girl who was raised by her influential cousin Mordecai.
Esther became queen by winning the Miss Persian Beauty Pageant (it wasn't really called that) and "won grace and favor" from the king. She of course hid her heritage by instruction of Mordecai who continued to influence her life. It's a classic rags to riches kind of story; an Old Testament Cinderella story.
Well,a great persecution came about against the Jews. Mordecai persuaded her to use her grace and favor with the king and plead with him to end the persecution. Esther was reluctant because the king had a goofy law that said if anyone (even his wife) approaches the king inside the inner court without being called would be put to death, except for the one to whom the king holds out the golden scepter so that he may live. Mordecai continued to persuade her by saying his famous line, "who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"
Esther then held a three day fast and for the sake of her people she would "go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish." After the three days, Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the king's palace while the king was sitting on his royal throne inside the throne room." The King extended the golden scepter and Ester, along with her people, were saved from genocide.
The name Hadassah means "myrtle tree" which in Jewish custom represents a star, in particular the morning star. The name Esther actually means "star" but sounds (apparently, I don't know Hebrew) like "hidden" in Hebrew, because she hide her nationality. Also, it is said that Esther was "as beautiful as the morning star."
So what does all that mean? I'm glad you asked
The story of Esther parallels the story of Jesus. We, being like the Jews, are sort of in exile for our rebellion against God due to our sin. We are deserving of punishment and death because of our sin. But we have Jesus who has won grace and favor God the King and pleads our case that we might be saved from certain eternal death. And Jesus, instead of saying "if I perish" did indeed perish on our behalf on the cross taking the punishment of sin and death and placing it on himself. Instead of a three day fast he spent three days in the grave and was gloriously resurrected. Just as there was a bright star leading the wise men to his birth, Jesus Christ is the Bright and Morning Star as the close of Revelation states. And as Ephesians says, Jesus has made known to us the "mystery of his will," what was once hidden has been made known through Jesus.
It may be some amazing coincidence, but Hadassah was born one day before Purim, the Jewish holiday in celebration of Esther and four days before Easter celebrating Jesus' resurrection. We truly believe that our Hadassah was born at this time and moment by the sovereign grace of God (I know sooo spiritual) for a purpose that is in Christ alone.
So, I really like my daughters name and I can't wait to find more about this person that God has given Ashley and I.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
3/19/2008
Well, it's official, I'm a Dad.
Hadassah Joy Mills was born 7lbs 3oz and 20in long. She was born by c-section because of Ashley's small pelvic measurements and is as healthy as a newborn can be.
I really didn't know how I was going to feel the first time I saw her. Disgust- because of all the goo that she had on here; Really Emotional to the point of crying- because I was so excited and filled with joy; Amazement- because I had never seen something so small; Bewilderment- because that small thing belonged to me and came from me; Fear- because of the responsibility that I now have over another living person.
But what I remember feeling was relief. Relieved that I could finally get to see her, Relieved that I could hear her, Relieved that all her toes and fingers were there, Relieved that the surgery was practically over, and Relieved that I got to hold her. We've been planning on her coming now for 9 months. Planning that long for any one particular thing pretty much stresses me right out. So when I got to see, hear, and touch the very thing that has been the object of our planning I was relieved.
Current status: relieved and a little tired
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Very Quickly
So, Ashley is 38 weeks pregnant and unless something changes she will probably be scheduled to have the baby next Thursday. She is doing very well despite a few aches, pains, and discomfort while trying to sleep.
We actually just moved into a new apartment about two weeks ago, so we've been pretty busy. The reasons for the move involves a lot of explanation and is a weird kind of story, but the important thing is we are in bigger place, the baby has her own room, and we were able to get some things packed for when we come home May 20. The downside is we don't have internet at this apartment and probably won't get it while we are here. So e-mail and everything else we do on the internet (Skype, ichat) will be sporadic and less frequent than before.
Last bit of news is I have been accepted at Golden Gate Theological in San Francisco. We were originally going to move there at the end of the summer. However, after prayer and consideration we decided it would be best to wait one semester. So I will be starting the spring semester in '09.
It's been great to hear form some of you and I will be making a much stronger attempt to stay a little bit more updated. But as I might be able to guess, we have been a little busy.
Current Status: Crazy ready to see my daughter and totally ready for Ashley to start sleeping on her stomach again (when she can't sleep well, I can't sleep well).
We actually just moved into a new apartment about two weeks ago, so we've been pretty busy. The reasons for the move involves a lot of explanation and is a weird kind of story, but the important thing is we are in bigger place, the baby has her own room, and we were able to get some things packed for when we come home May 20. The downside is we don't have internet at this apartment and probably won't get it while we are here. So e-mail and everything else we do on the internet (Skype, ichat) will be sporadic and less frequent than before.
Last bit of news is I have been accepted at Golden Gate Theological in San Francisco. We were originally going to move there at the end of the summer. However, after prayer and consideration we decided it would be best to wait one semester. So I will be starting the spring semester in '09.
It's been great to hear form some of you and I will be making a much stronger attempt to stay a little bit more updated. But as I might be able to guess, we have been a little busy.
Current Status: Crazy ready to see my daughter and totally ready for Ashley to start sleeping on her stomach again (when she can't sleep well, I can't sleep well).
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Monday, December 24, 2007
So It's Christmas, for Some
The past couple of weeks I've helped out with a conversation class for french students who want to improve their english. The class is held by our team mates on the student team. Last week we used Christmas as our conversation topic.
We had a bunch of questions and topics that we covered concerning cultural traditions, Santa Clause, and things we each enjoyed about this time of year. When asked if they knew where the story of Christmas came from, they admitted they didn't know. So as practice we read in english the Christmas story from Luke and then had copies in French to help clear up any confusion.
They were french college students, having grown up in Paris (in apparently a "Christianized" nation) and this was the first time they had ever read the story of the birth of Jesus. We didn't press the issue or give our testimonies, which I think would not have been appropriate at this point, but we at least got them thinking about Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas.
For them Christmas was just another day, one of the many holidays out of the year. For me it was another sign of the spiritual depravity that we find ourselves living among in Paris.
I've heard of mission teams traveling to places like East Asia, among other third world places, during Christmas with the whole purpose of sharing the Christmas story with people who have never heard it before.
I never imagined that moving to Paris, France I would be in a similar culture.
current status: pretty good, just a little cold
We had a bunch of questions and topics that we covered concerning cultural traditions, Santa Clause, and things we each enjoyed about this time of year. When asked if they knew where the story of Christmas came from, they admitted they didn't know. So as practice we read in english the Christmas story from Luke and then had copies in French to help clear up any confusion.
They were french college students, having grown up in Paris (in apparently a "Christianized" nation) and this was the first time they had ever read the story of the birth of Jesus. We didn't press the issue or give our testimonies, which I think would not have been appropriate at this point, but we at least got them thinking about Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas.
For them Christmas was just another day, one of the many holidays out of the year. For me it was another sign of the spiritual depravity that we find ourselves living among in Paris.
I've heard of mission teams traveling to places like East Asia, among other third world places, during Christmas with the whole purpose of sharing the Christmas story with people who have never heard it before.
I never imagined that moving to Paris, France I would be in a similar culture.
current status: pretty good, just a little cold
Monday, December 17, 2007
Compass
So Ashley and I went and saw the Golden Compass the other night with some friends.
When controversial movies like this come out and certain Christian groups start grabbing pitch forks, I almost run the other direction (as it were) and go see and even support those movies.
For example, Harry Potter. I happen to like the movies, as they are well done, the acting not half bad, and they tell the story well. I'm not in favor of the occult but in the end Harry Potter, unless I'm mistaken, is not really meant to teach children how to be a witch or wizard and is just a movie. So when the Golden Compass came out and I heard of all the controversy and people began to tell christians not to go and see it, I honestly kept an open mind and looked forward to seeing the movie.
Now, aside from the anti-Christian and anti-authority themes in the movie...
The movie was horribly boring and just plain bad. I'm no expert movie critic or anything, but if a movie that I've never seen before puts me to sleep, can't be a good movie.
When controversial movies like this come out and certain Christian groups start grabbing pitch forks, I almost run the other direction (as it were) and go see and even support those movies.
For example, Harry Potter. I happen to like the movies, as they are well done, the acting not half bad, and they tell the story well. I'm not in favor of the occult but in the end Harry Potter, unless I'm mistaken, is not really meant to teach children how to be a witch or wizard and is just a movie. So when the Golden Compass came out and I heard of all the controversy and people began to tell christians not to go and see it, I honestly kept an open mind and looked forward to seeing the movie.
Now, aside from the anti-Christian and anti-authority themes in the movie...
The movie was horribly boring and just plain bad. I'm no expert movie critic or anything, but if a movie that I've never seen before puts me to sleep, can't be a good movie.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Spiritual Journey
I have finally finished my application for Golden Gate Theological Seminary where I hope to be going next fall. They required a spiritual journey essay for the application and I thought that I would post what I wrote. Printed out it's about two pages, so if it's too long, sorry:
Growing up in a Christian home, I had parents who loved the Lord and loved my older sister and me. My dad pastored several small churches at varying times and my mom was a business professor at a local university. My parents enforced a strong moral code that encouraged good behavior and tried to censor me from things that might influence me otherwise. I did however, feel a difference between Church and Home; my punishments excluded having to memorize scripture, there were no sermons before dinner and no biblical guilt trips when I misbehaved. Still there was little surprise when, at the age of eight, I knew all the right things to say to convince my parents that it was time for me to be baptized. Not much changed after that, just I called my self a Christian.
I began to realize that nothing had changed when I was thirteen. Strongly convicted of the sin in my life I had vivid images of Jesus dying on the cross. It was then that I realized I had never truly yielded my life to Jesus. It was a simple conversion, no emotional breakdowns or fireworks, just me confessing I needed Jesus to be the Lord of my life. A year later God called me to the ministry and I have set that as my professional goal ever since.
In High School, my parents allowed me to decide for myself where I went to church. I remained very active in youth group, participating and leading school bible studies. As I grew in the Lord, I grew in personality as well and developed several close friendships. I moved for the first time after my sophomore year, which tested and strengthened my faith. By my graduation, I was on the youth group’s leadership team, went on mission trips, and severed at youth camps and still attended a different church as my parents. At times, I grew tired of always doing the ‘right thing’ and rebelled in my own ways. Other times I would feel deeply convicted and moved forward through repentance. I grew in knowledge of the bible and “basic” apologetics while exposed to other denominations and religions. Overall, my spiritual growth during this phase was in my ability to defend my faith. I knew all the ‘right’ verses and developed a love for discussing and debating with others over spiritual and biblical matters.
In college, I lost whatever ‘better-than-you’ attitude I developed but continued to do mission trips, join leadership teams, and do bible studies, but not nearly as many or nearly as committed to them, it no longer gave me the same sense of greater value. I no longer wanted Church or my association with any particular Christian group to define me as it had before. I still actively participated in my local church, but rather learned to relate differently to others outside of church. I developed a love for deeper things in scripture and theology increasing my reading habits. Overall, during this phase I grew in my ability to define my faith trying to determine the particular things that I agreed or disagreed with and began to discover my personal preferences concerning which facets of ministry I would want to pursue.
I married Ashley a year before graduating. I began to learn what being a husband meant and began to feel the weight of biblical responsibility that a husband has over his family. But most of all I no longer grew in my faith by myself, God had given me someone to come along side me and we began to grow together. Our faith has been tested, strengthened, and taken to new places as we learned what it means to rely on Jesus for everything as a couple. One of our biggest tests of faith came after several months of prayer and consideration when we felt God calling us to the ISC program and to France. Living in France has provided me with new perspectives on doing ministry among an un-believing culture and how to live, interact, and love that culture. It also revealed to me the relevance that culture has on effective gospel presentation. Overall, I have grown in learning to depend and rely on Jesus in new ways, which redefined my faith. Full time jobs, budgeting, a growing family, moving away from family, and living cross culturally have all contributed to a deeper dependence and trusting more whole heartedly in Jesus.
My spiritual journey has been full of frustration, fear, uncertainty, and even depression. I have only moved forward through repentance and the grace that comes from Jesus. That has led me to deeper convictions, a redefining love for Jesus and his word, and deepened my desires to pursue full time ministry.
Growing up in a Christian home, I had parents who loved the Lord and loved my older sister and me. My dad pastored several small churches at varying times and my mom was a business professor at a local university. My parents enforced a strong moral code that encouraged good behavior and tried to censor me from things that might influence me otherwise. I did however, feel a difference between Church and Home; my punishments excluded having to memorize scripture, there were no sermons before dinner and no biblical guilt trips when I misbehaved. Still there was little surprise when, at the age of eight, I knew all the right things to say to convince my parents that it was time for me to be baptized. Not much changed after that, just I called my self a Christian.
I began to realize that nothing had changed when I was thirteen. Strongly convicted of the sin in my life I had vivid images of Jesus dying on the cross. It was then that I realized I had never truly yielded my life to Jesus. It was a simple conversion, no emotional breakdowns or fireworks, just me confessing I needed Jesus to be the Lord of my life. A year later God called me to the ministry and I have set that as my professional goal ever since.
In High School, my parents allowed me to decide for myself where I went to church. I remained very active in youth group, participating and leading school bible studies. As I grew in the Lord, I grew in personality as well and developed several close friendships. I moved for the first time after my sophomore year, which tested and strengthened my faith. By my graduation, I was on the youth group’s leadership team, went on mission trips, and severed at youth camps and still attended a different church as my parents. At times, I grew tired of always doing the ‘right thing’ and rebelled in my own ways. Other times I would feel deeply convicted and moved forward through repentance. I grew in knowledge of the bible and “basic” apologetics while exposed to other denominations and religions. Overall, my spiritual growth during this phase was in my ability to defend my faith. I knew all the ‘right’ verses and developed a love for discussing and debating with others over spiritual and biblical matters.
In college, I lost whatever ‘better-than-you’ attitude I developed but continued to do mission trips, join leadership teams, and do bible studies, but not nearly as many or nearly as committed to them, it no longer gave me the same sense of greater value. I no longer wanted Church or my association with any particular Christian group to define me as it had before. I still actively participated in my local church, but rather learned to relate differently to others outside of church. I developed a love for deeper things in scripture and theology increasing my reading habits. Overall, during this phase I grew in my ability to define my faith trying to determine the particular things that I agreed or disagreed with and began to discover my personal preferences concerning which facets of ministry I would want to pursue.
I married Ashley a year before graduating. I began to learn what being a husband meant and began to feel the weight of biblical responsibility that a husband has over his family. But most of all I no longer grew in my faith by myself, God had given me someone to come along side me and we began to grow together. Our faith has been tested, strengthened, and taken to new places as we learned what it means to rely on Jesus for everything as a couple. One of our biggest tests of faith came after several months of prayer and consideration when we felt God calling us to the ISC program and to France. Living in France has provided me with new perspectives on doing ministry among an un-believing culture and how to live, interact, and love that culture. It also revealed to me the relevance that culture has on effective gospel presentation. Overall, I have grown in learning to depend and rely on Jesus in new ways, which redefined my faith. Full time jobs, budgeting, a growing family, moving away from family, and living cross culturally have all contributed to a deeper dependence and trusting more whole heartedly in Jesus.
My spiritual journey has been full of frustration, fear, uncertainty, and even depression. I have only moved forward through repentance and the grace that comes from Jesus. That has led me to deeper convictions, a redefining love for Jesus and his word, and deepened my desires to pursue full time ministry.
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