Spiritual Journey

I have finally finished my application for Golden Gate Theological Seminary where I hope to be going next fall. They required a spiritual journey essay for the application and I thought that I would post what I wrote. Printed out it's about two pages, so if it's too long, sorry:

Growing up in a Christian home, I had parents who loved the Lord and loved my older sister and me. My dad pastored several small churches at varying times and my mom was a business professor at a local university. My parents enforced a strong moral code that encouraged good behavior and tried to censor me from things that might influence me otherwise. I did however, feel a difference between Church and Home; my punishments excluded having to memorize scripture, there were no sermons before dinner and no biblical guilt trips when I misbehaved. Still there was little surprise when, at the age of eight, I knew all the right things to say to convince my parents that it was time for me to be baptized. Not much changed after that, just I called my self a Christian.
I began to realize that nothing had changed when I was thirteen. Strongly convicted of the sin in my life I had vivid images of Jesus dying on the cross. It was then that I realized I had never truly yielded my life to Jesus. It was a simple conversion, no emotional breakdowns or fireworks, just me confessing I needed Jesus to be the Lord of my life. A year later God called me to the ministry and I have set that as my professional goal ever since.
In High School, my parents allowed me to decide for myself where I went to church. I remained very active in youth group, participating and leading school bible studies. As I grew in the Lord, I grew in personality as well and developed several close friendships. I moved for the first time after my sophomore year, which tested and strengthened my faith. By my graduation, I was on the youth group’s leadership team, went on mission trips, and severed at youth camps and still attended a different church as my parents. At times, I grew tired of always doing the ‘right thing’ and rebelled in my own ways. Other times I would feel deeply convicted and moved forward through repentance. I grew in knowledge of the bible and “basic” apologetics while exposed to other denominations and religions. Overall, my spiritual growth during this phase was in my ability to defend my faith. I knew all the ‘right’ verses and developed a love for discussing and debating with others over spiritual and biblical matters.
In college, I lost whatever ‘better-than-you’ attitude I developed but continued to do mission trips, join leadership teams, and do bible studies, but not nearly as many or nearly as committed to them, it no longer gave me the same sense of greater value. I no longer wanted Church or my association with any particular Christian group to define me as it had before. I still actively participated in my local church, but rather learned to relate differently to others outside of church. I developed a love for deeper things in scripture and theology increasing my reading habits. Overall, during this phase I grew in my ability to define my faith trying to determine the particular things that I agreed or disagreed with and began to discover my personal preferences concerning which facets of ministry I would want to pursue.
I married Ashley a year before graduating. I began to learn what being a husband meant and began to feel the weight of biblical responsibility that a husband has over his family. But most of all I no longer grew in my faith by myself, God had given me someone to come along side me and we began to grow together. Our faith has been tested, strengthened, and taken to new places as we learned what it means to rely on Jesus for everything as a couple. One of our biggest tests of faith came after several months of prayer and consideration when we felt God calling us to the ISC program and to France. Living in France has provided me with new perspectives on doing ministry among an un-believing culture and how to live, interact, and love that culture. It also revealed to me the relevance that culture has on effective gospel presentation. Overall, I have grown in learning to depend and rely on Jesus in new ways, which redefined my faith. Full time jobs, budgeting, a growing family, moving away from family, and living cross culturally have all contributed to a deeper dependence and trusting more whole heartedly in Jesus.
My spiritual journey has been full of frustration, fear, uncertainty, and even depression. I have only moved forward through repentance and the grace that comes from Jesus. That has led me to deeper convictions, a redefining love for Jesus and his word, and deepened my desires to pursue full time ministry.