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Hadassah Joy Mills

2008-04-11T07:44:00.001-07:00

Ashley has always said that she wanted her kids names to mean something, or at least to represent something of importance. I love the name Hadassah because of what it represents and whom it represents and as our little girl grows up she will know where her name came from and what it means.

Hadassah comes from the Old Testament book of Esther. The story of Esther occurs during the Jewish exile that was prophesied by the prophet Jeremiah among others. She was a Jewish orphan girl who was raised by her influential cousin Mordecai.

Esther became queen by winning the Miss Persian Beauty Pageant (it wasn't really called that) and "won grace and favor" from the king. She of course hid her heritage by instruction of Mordecai who continued to influence her life. It's a classic rags to riches kind of story; an Old Testament Cinderella story.

Well,a great persecution came about against the Jews. Mordecai persuaded her to use her grace and favor with the king and plead with him to end the persecution. Esther was reluctant because the king had a goofy law that said if anyone (even his wife) approaches the king inside the inner court without being called would be put to death, except for the one to whom the king holds out the golden scepter so that he may live. Mordecai continued to persuade her by saying his famous line, "who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

Esther then held a three day fast and for the sake of her people she would "go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish." After the three days, Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the king's palace while the king was sitting on his royal throne inside the throne room." The King extended the golden scepter and Ester, along with her people, were saved from genocide.

The name Hadassah means "myrtle tree" which in Jewish custom represents a star, in particular the morning star. The name Esther actually means "star" but sounds (apparently, I don't know Hebrew) like "hidden" in Hebrew, because she hide her nationality. Also, it is said that Esther was "as beautiful as the morning star."

So what does all that mean? I'm glad you asked

The story of Esther parallels the story of Jesus. We, being like the Jews, are sort of in exile for our rebellion against God due to our sin. We are deserving of punishment and death because of our sin. But we have Jesus who has won grace and favor God the King and pleads our case that we might be saved from certain eternal death. And Jesus, instead of saying "if I perish" did indeed perish on our behalf on the cross taking the punishment of sin and death and placing it on himself. Instead of a three day fast he spent three days in the grave and was gloriously resurrected. Just as there was a bright star leading the wise men to his birth, Jesus Christ is the Bright and Morning Star as the close of Revelation states. And as Ephesians says, Jesus has made known to us the "mystery of his will," what was once hidden has been made known through Jesus.

It may be some amazing coincidence, but Hadassah was born one day before Purim, the Jewish holiday in celebration of Esther and four days before Easter celebrating Jesus' resurrection. We truly believe that our Hadassah was born at this time and moment by the sovereign grace of God (I know sooo spiritual) for a purpose that is in Christ alone.

So, I really like my daughters name and I can't wait to find more about this person that God has given Ashley and I.

3/19/2008

2008-03-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official, I'm a Dad.

Hadassah Joy Mills was born 7lbs 3oz and 20in long. She was born by c-section because of Ashley's small pelvic measurements and is as healthy as a newborn can be.

I really didn't know how I was going to feel the first time I saw her. Disgust- because of all the goo that she had on here; Really Emotional to the point of crying- because I was so excited and filled with joy; Amazement- because I had never seen something so small; Bewilderment- because that small thing belonged to me and came from me; Fear- because of the responsibility that I now have over another living person.

But what I remember feeling was relief. Relieved that I could finally get to see her, Relieved that I could hear her, Relieved that all her toes and fingers were there, Relieved that the surgery was practically over, and Relieved that I got to hold her. We've been planning on her coming now for 9 months. Planning that long for any one particular thing pretty much stresses me right out. So when I got to see, hear, and touch the very thing that has been the object of our planning I was relieved.

Current status: relieved and a little tired

Very Quickly

2008-03-12T05:05:00.000-07:00

So, Ashley is 38 weeks pregnant and unless something changes she will probably be scheduled to have the baby next Thursday. She is doing very well despite a few aches, pains, and discomfort while trying to sleep.

We actually just moved into a new apartment about two weeks ago, so we've been pretty busy. The reasons for the move involves a lot of explanation and is a weird kind of story, but the important thing is we are in bigger place, the baby has her own room, and we were able to get some things packed for when we come home May 20. The downside is we don't have internet at this apartment and probably won't get it while we are here. So e-mail and everything else we do on the internet (Skype, ichat) will be sporadic and less frequent than before.

Last bit of news is I have been accepted at Golden Gate Theological in San Francisco. We were originally going to move there at the end of the summer. However, after prayer and consideration we decided it would be best to wait one semester. So I will be starting the spring semester in '09.

It's been great to hear form some of you and I will be making a much stronger attempt to stay a little bit more updated. But as I might be able to guess, we have been a little busy.

Current Status: Crazy ready to see my daughter and totally ready for Ashley to start sleeping on her stomach again (when she can't sleep well, I can't sleep well).

Concerning Apple and the Latest Keynotes

2008-01-16T07:47:00.000-08:00

In the words of the great philosopher Harry Dunn,

"Genius Lloyd, sheer genius."

See it here.

So It's Christmas, for Some

2007-12-24T02:16:00.000-08:00

The past couple of weeks I've helped out with a conversation class for french students who want to improve their english. The class is held by our team mates on the student team. Last week we used Christmas as our conversation topic.

We had a bunch of questions and topics that we covered concerning cultural traditions, Santa Clause, and things we each enjoyed about this time of year. When asked if they knew where the story of Christmas came from, they admitted they didn't know. So as practice we read in english the Christmas story from Luke and then had copies in French to help clear up any confusion.

They were french college students, having grown up in Paris (in apparently a "Christianized" nation) and this was the first time they had ever read the story of the birth of Jesus. We didn't press the issue or give our testimonies, which I think would not have been appropriate at this point, but we at least got them thinking about Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas.

For them Christmas was just another day, one of the many holidays out of the year. For me it was another sign of the spiritual depravity that we find ourselves living among in Paris.

I've heard of mission teams traveling to places like East Asia, among other third world places, during Christmas with the whole purpose of sharing the Christmas story with people who have never heard it before.

I never imagined that moving to Paris, France I would be in a similar culture.

current status: pretty good, just a little cold

Compass

2007-12-17T04:23:00.000-08:00

So Ashley and I went and saw the Golden Compass the other night with some friends.

When controversial movies like this come out and certain Christian groups start grabbing pitch forks, I almost run the other direction (as it were) and go see and even support those movies.

For example, Harry Potter. I happen to like the movies, as they are well done, the acting not half bad, and they tell the story well. I'm not in favor of the occult but in the end Harry Potter, unless I'm mistaken, is not really meant to teach children how to be a witch or wizard and is just a movie. So when the Golden Compass came out and I heard of all the controversy and people began to tell christians not to go and see it, I honestly kept an open mind and looked forward to seeing the movie.

Now, aside from the anti-Christian and anti-authority themes in the movie...

The movie was horribly boring and just plain bad. I'm no expert movie critic or anything, but if a movie that I've never seen before puts me to sleep, can't be a good movie.

Spiritual Journey

2007-12-10T10:47:00.001-08:00

I have finally finished my application for Golden Gate Theological Seminary where I hope to be going next fall. They required a spiritual journey essay for the application and I thought that I would post what I wrote. Printed out it's about two pages, so if it's too long, sorry:

Growing up in a Christian home, I had parents who loved the Lord and loved my older sister and me. My dad pastored several small churches at varying times and my mom was a business professor at a local university. My parents enforced a strong moral code that encouraged good behavior and tried to censor me from things that might influence me otherwise. I did however, feel a difference between Church and Home; my punishments excluded having to memorize scripture, there were no sermons before dinner and no biblical guilt trips when I misbehaved. Still there was little surprise when, at the age of eight, I knew all the right things to say to convince my parents that it was time for me to be baptized. Not much changed after that, just I called my self a Christian.
I began to realize that nothing had changed when I was thirteen. Strongly convicted of the sin in my life I had vivid images of Jesus dying on the cross. It was then that I realized I had never truly yielded my life to Jesus. It was a simple conversion, no emotional breakdowns or fireworks, just me confessing I needed Jesus to be the Lord of my life. A year later God called me to the ministry and I have set that as my professional goal ever since.
In High School, my parents allowed me to decide for myself where I went to church. I remained very active in youth group, participating and leading school bible studies. As I grew in the Lord, I grew in personality as well and developed several close friendships. I moved for the first time after my sophomore year, which tested and strengthened my faith. By my graduation, I was on the youth group’s leadership team, went on mission trips, and severed at youth camps and still attended a different church as my parents. At times, I grew tired of always doing the ‘right thing’ and rebelled in my own ways. Other times I would feel deeply convicted and moved forward through repentance. I grew in knowledge of the bible and “basic” apologetics while exposed to other denominations and religions. Overall, my spiritual growth during this phase was in my ability to defend my faith. I knew all the ‘right’ verses and developed a love for discussing and debating with others over spiritual and biblical matters.
In college, I lost whatever ‘better-than-you’ attitude I developed but continued to do mission trips, join leadership teams, and do bible studies, but not nearly as many or nearly as committed to them, it no longer gave me the same sense of greater value. I no longer wanted Church or my association with any particular Christian group to define me as it had before. I still actively participated in my local church, but rather learned to relate differently to others outside of church. I developed a love for deeper things in scripture and theology increasing my reading habits. Overall, during this phase I grew in my ability to define my faith trying to determine the particular things that I agreed or disagreed with and began to discover my personal preferences concerning which facets of ministry I would want to pursue.
I married Ashley a year before graduating. I began to learn what being a husband meant and began to feel the weight of biblical responsibility that a husband has over his family. But most of all I no longer grew in my faith by myself, God had given me someone to come along side me and we began to grow together. Our faith has been tested, strengthened, and taken to new places as we learned what it means to rely on Jesus for everything as a couple. One of our biggest tests of faith came after several months of prayer and consideration when we felt God calling us to the ISC program and to France. Living in France has provided me with new perspectives on doing ministry among an un-believing culture and how to live, interact, and love that culture. It also revealed to me the relevance that culture has on effective gospel presentation. Overall, I have grown in learning to depend and rely on Jesus in new ways, which redefined my faith. Full time jobs, budgeting, a growing family, moving away from family, and living cross culturally have all contributed to a deeper dependence and trusting more whole heartedly in Jesus.
My spiritual journey has been full of frustration, fear, uncertainty, and even depression. I have only moved forward through repentance and the grace that comes from Jesus. That has led me to deeper convictions, a redefining love for Jesus and his word, and deepened my desires to pursue full time ministry.

Riots, scooter, and the Government - a brief insight into the mind of a rioter in France, French or not

2007-11-28T01:33:00.000-08:00

Some of you may have heard of the rioting that has taken place in the Northern Suburbs of Paris and for those who don't know, we live in a suburb that borders northern Paris that is well known for its immigrant population called St. Denis. These riots started due to a traffic incident involving two teenage boys who crashed into a police car and where killed. All of this happened and is still happening two cities north of where we live, roughly 20-30 minute trip by public transport, 10 minutes (maybe) by car.

Last night we saw for the first time "rioters" on our street. They walked very casually (followed by a few police officers) down our street with big signs and posters and a bull horn that neither one of us could make out what the guy was saying through it. Nothing scary, nothing that made me afraid for my life, but really kind of annoyed me because they were being loud and it was late.

Furthermore, if the riots continue and continue to spread, I have no doubt that we have not seen the last of the protesting. However, we are not afraid for our lives and do not feel that we are in any kind of immediate danger. Except for over-crowdness, dirty streets, and funky smells we have, for the most part, enjoyed living in St. Denis. We've never been physically attacked, robbed, or abused in any physical way (we have both been hit on by really creepy guys before, that's another story).

Rioters in France are not out to kill random people, or anyone for that matter. They really just want to make a statement and burn stuff. What guy doesn't want to do that.

I do think that there seems to be, for the most part, among the french and others here (immigrant), a lack of personal responsibility. They don't really want to take responsibility to work and provide for themselves and they don't really want to take responsibility for wrong past actions. They really think that the government is designed to take responsibility for them, provide for them, and make sure nothing bad happens to them. This is why government spending here is the highest in Europe and the economy is also declining/has declined. The unemployment rate is crazy high and the government, traditionally, is more concerned with the dispersing of wealth and not the creation of it. So when anything goes wrong, something bad happens, the government gets the blame. (economical rant) There is some hope with the actions of the new president Sarkozy who is all about work and change. So we'll see...

But for the french, the immigrants, and the government to change their views on how government works and social understanding is not why we're here.

It's just a weird place that really needs Jesus.

currents status: this post was also supposed to say that we are safe and appreciate your prayers.

Back from Scotland

2007-11-19T12:54:00.000-08:00

I got to spend the weekend in Edinburgh, Scotland. I attended a conference called Mens Makers; a men's conference that was dealing with biblical masculinity and manhood.

I got to meet one of my favorite bible teachers and preachers Mark Driscoll.

It was extremely encouraging to get to spend some time with Scottish Christians that had a heart for the re-christianization of Europe. Most of the guys that we meet were fairly surprised to see us there. They were also surprised to hear that we are Missionaries living in Paris.

We got reactions that we usually don't get when people find out that we are missionaries in Paris. They were very understanding when we told them how difficult it's been to make and build relationships. They understood how lost and desperate the french really are. It was actually kind of refreshing to get responses like this.

Let me try to explain.

Before we left the states for Paris we got responses like, "Oh, you're moving to Paris, that's suffering for the Lord," "It must be nice" all in a very sarcastic tone. I guess people have a romantic and exotic view of Paris, the "City of Love" & "City of Lights" and all that.

But the truth is it is not the city of love but of infidelity and lust, it is not the city of light but of spiritual darkness and depravity. It's true that it is a great city, but a city that needs Jesus greatly.

It was simply nice and somewhat refreshing to meet Europeans who understood that without us having to explain it to them.

Current Status: Refreshed!

Verses and Questions

2007-11-05T06:43:00.000-08:00

"Worship the Lord in the splendor of His holiness; tremble before Him all the earth" Psalm 96:9

- What's the connection between worshiping the Lord and trembling before Him?
- How does this change my perspective on "the splendor of His holiness" if I am also to tremble before Him whom I'm worshiping and adoring?

"...He will judge the world with righteousness and the peoples with His faithfulness." Psalm 96:13b

- What's the connection between God judging the world and all the people with "His faithfulness?
- What kind of faithfulness are we dealing with?

"...Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, to make her holy cleansing her in the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and blameless."
Ephesians 5:25-27

- Who then is the church and what does this mean for her?
- Who then is not the church and what does this mean for them?
- How does this effect my church planting job title?

current status: better, thanks to good music, the word, and walks through Paris.

Previews

2007-10-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had to sit through previews at the movie theater so long that you forgot what movie you were going see, eventually?

30 minutes is how long we had to sit through previews and commercials and I actually forgot what movie we were seeing.

It's getting out of hand.

Seriously.

Get Lost in the Music

2007-10-23T13:20:00.000-07:00

Have you ever listened to a piece of music that just completely resonated in you? That made you see the world new ways? That made you feel somehow new and different?

Have you ever listened to a song that made the world around you move in slow motion? Inspired you? Compelled you to be a different person, even though it wasn't a "Christian" song?

Have you ever heard a song that made you feel absolutely beautiful? Courageous? Daring? Relaxed?

Have you ever lost yourself in the rhythm, the lyrics, and the hypnotism of a great song? Never wanting to return to the reality of the world before the song began?

The kind of song you want to sing along with, not caring who hears.

I'm listening to one right now...

Mars Hill Music

2007-10-19T01:53:00.000-07:00

I've really gotten into listening to the podcast by Mark Driscoll at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. I've also really gotten into their music podcast. They post a lot of redone hymns and a lot of original stuff.

Some of it is really cool, and yet others are bit strange. But it like it because it's not an AirOne remix and they don't sound like they just came from a Passion conference.

It's refreshing to hear creative Christian music, that doesn't necessarily sound like Christian music.

(as if music could accept Christ anyways)

Here's the link to iTunes.

Harder than Expected

2007-10-18T15:46:00.000-07:00

So pretty much everything about living in France has been harder than I expected. From the language, to working in the organization, to ministering to West African's in the French culture.

I didn't think that I would feel as inadequate and useless as I sometimes feel. The past 17 months have been the hardest that I've ever encountered. I've struggled with depression (in some ways still do), I've struggled with finding any real depth and growth in scripture reading (overall on a daily basis), and struggled with doubt in God's plan and will in my life.

I realize that I'm living in an apartment and not a mud hut, I realize that it's cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter (on average more than most places in the world), and I realize that as an ISC I should be grateful for all the provision that we have not having to raise our own support. Compared to some other M's around the world we have it pretty good.

However, that doesn't change all the things that we have to deal with that I wasn't expecting. Such as, waiting in line from 6:15 a.m. to 3:15 in the longest, slowest line in the world just to sign up to get an appointment to renew my residence papers. Also, things like the strike we had today. The only way Ashley and I get around is on public transportation, so what do we do when all public transportation in Paris is running around 15-25% normalcy?

I've nearly completely forgotten what I was expecting before I moved here. I was either naive or more faithful, maybe both.

And if all the "comforts" that we apparently have in Western Europe are supposed to make me more joyful, than why do I not feel that joy all the time from said "comforts." Is there something that seriously wrong with me?

I've been able to get pockets and pieces of joy and deep truth from scripture that will and has sustained me. I've been able to see pockets of what God can and is doing here. But for the most part...

France has been my dry and weary land where there is no water.

I pray tomorrow and every day that follows I will be able to touch the hem of our great high priest who has passed through the heavens and is able to sympathize with my weakness. (Some where I still have hope...)

current status: dry weary land, no water, that pretty much sums it for today.

An article

2007-10-10T04:33:00.000-07:00

Here's an article about the previous post.

Roma and the Jesus Steps

2007-10-05T04:58:00.000-07:00

So we just got back from a weekend in Rome. We had a great time and really enjoyed getting to experience another culture, as much as a few tourist could.

We got to see the Coliseum, the Palatino where the senate met and the Emperor lived, the Vatican, and a ton of other really old stuff that bears some significance. But I think one of the most memorable things was the Santa Scala, or the Holy Steps.

They are believed to have been the same steps Jesus passed on his way to being tried by Pilot. There are even traces of blood believed to be that of Jesus. They are now covered by wood and people who want to climb to the "Holy of Holies" at the top of the stair case can only do so on their knees.

At the bottom of the stairs, there was a plaque that explained how it all worked. Apparently if you climb the stairs during Lent you will receive full penance, but on any other day just half penance.

This really bothered me.

Aside from the point that they were pushing the idea that you can receive any kind of forgiveness from climbing stairs on your knees, how do you gage degrees of forgiveness? Partly forgiven? Don't even get me started on the fact that they were using a bunch of stupid stairs to gain that forgiveness.

But, that's the problem with a legalistic perspective on scripture and the Christian life. If you truly believe that doing those "good" things will earn forgiveness, then you'll do them. And I'll even add this, if you think by doing "good" things will maintain salvation, then you'll do them. The problem with this is, well, the bible.

The sad fact is though, whether it's Jesus stairs on lent or church on Sunday morning, Catholic or Southern Baptist, we are all in danger of turning our lives and our faith into a merit based religion; pointing away from trusting Jesus for everything concerning salvation and forgiveness to how we must try to please a God who may just already be pleased with us.

Vivez le Mac

2007-09-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

Apple recently came out with a program called Numbers that is their version of Excel. The timing couldn't be any better.

Here you go.

Video

2007-09-30T00:16:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of the month I posted "new vision" and that I believed that I wasn't really tapping into the gifts and abilities that God has given me to use for His glory and ministry while we are here in France. I also said that I wanted to pursue a slightly more "creative" means to build relationships among WAs.

Though this is not exactly a relationship builder, it is a step in the direction that I believe God wants me to go with the remainder of our time in France (we come home in May by the way).

It's a fairly simple video that Ashley and I made for the use of a mission conference at a church that has partnered with our ministry.

To view it you can either subscribe to our podcast here and download it into iTunes or just go here to view on our website. It's not too terribly large of a file, but it may take a little while to download. Enjoy.

current status: just o.k. today.

Foyer Fun pt. 2

2007-09-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

Craig received a call from a guy that was interested in the J-film. He lived in a foyer that we had gone to several times but because of the larger size of the foyer we had not meet him yet. He apparently got Craig's number from someone else in the foyer (each tape has his number on the back).

So we go and meet this guy outside his room. We go in and sit down, then he goes and gets his friend from down the hall. As we are waiting I noticed a pile of dirt on the floor underneath his TV stand; there were also containers that looked like that had some kind of spices in them, and some things that looked like old wrinkly eggplants.

The two men came back and we began talking about the film and our trips to West Africa. We soon found out something interesting, this man was a Marabou (Witchdoctor) and so was his friend. In fact, they both came from a family of Marabou's.

You have to understand that even though WA are Muslim today, they are historically animists; trusting in spirits and casting spells that can either bless or curse someone. And today, even though they are Muslim and follow the teaching of Muhammad they still animism to solve their problems. And they have Marabou's to help them with their problems (in some places the imam and marabou are the same person!) and we were sitting the room with two of them.

Craig asked him about the spices and what I thought were bad eggplants. He told us that the spices represented the prophets, the eggplant things were fetishes that he used to put blessings or curses on people, and the dirt was used seeing signs of the future and whatnot.

Don't get me wrong they were extremely nice and the fact that they were interested in the film is even better because of their huge range of influence, but it was a little unnerving.

Foyer Fun pt. 1

2007-09-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

So a large part of our ministry here consists of eating and hanging out in West African foyers. Foyers are basically dorm apartment buildings where the French house immigrants. Each foyer typically has a kitchen where you can get some great WA food, a mosque (Imams included), barbers, and even tailors who make and sell African clothing.

Some recent Foyer experiences:

We arrived at a new foyer that we had never been to that was very close to where we lived. It was a huge foyer, tons of guys hanging out, selling there African corn, music, clothes, and just a bunch of other random stuff. We found the kitchen and greeted every one there. My normal meal that I get is chep (a wheat based rice) and chicken. We placed our orders sat down and began to talk to other guys around us.

We usually talk about our trips to WA and the things that we loved about the African culture. We kind of have to break the ice to prove that we're not french and we're not trying to arrest anyone.

I noticed when I got my plate that it didn't smell normal and the chep just looked a little different (keep in my this is a culture that gets offended if you don't eat all that's offered to you). Finally Craig looked over at me as I was looking at my plate like I had just swallowed a mouthful of thumb tacks.

Craig asked, "How is it?"
I replied, "It smells a little funny."
Craig responded, "Yeah it does. You know the last time I smelled this smell was
when I was working on the my dad's farm when the wheat goes
rotten.
I exclaimed whoafully, "Good grief!"
Craig confessed, "I've been praying to God that we wouldn't get sick."

I didn't finish my plate, and God answered that prayer.

Sermon by Keller

2007-09-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't read anything by Tim Keller and I don't know much about him except that he is the pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church, he has a great first name, and he's pretty much genius.

I've listened to only a few sermons by Keller, one of which was today. It was from the Resurgence podcast, and he was speaking at the Gospel Coalition Conference. The sermon was entitled "Gospel-Centered Ministry" (session 2 from the conference). It's long, but good stuff. Here ya' go, the iTunes link.

Rugby Time

2007-09-09T00:05:00.001-07:00

The Rugby World Cup has started this week, and they started in where we live; St. Denis. St. Denis is a suburb north of Paris where the big Stade de France just happens to be, that's the main soccer/rugby stadium. We can actually see it from our up-stairs sky light.

So things have been a little crazy this weekend, tons of people and lots of noise. They have a ton of concerts and events that will be going on in St. Denis, some of it just down our street, we happen to live in the center of town so if they do anything here, we'll see it.

Rugby is kind of a weird game, but I like. I haven't seen an American football game in almost two years, so maybe I'm just starved to watch guys running into each other. I've been to a couple of lower league games when I was in language school and was taught some of the rules by my European classmates. They called it a "gentlemen's" game.

If your interested check out the official website here, and to brush up on the rules you can check this out.

2 Wills of God and Personal Reformation

2007-09-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

Over the past year I have been moving towards a much more reformed theological mindset. Partially due to studying bad ideas and flat out wrong theology. But mainly it's due to the Holy Spirit's work in my life showing me truth, and giving me the ability to discern what is right and wrong. Not that I have all the answers, I am still growing.

For example, I was recently reading through Titus, that's right, the whole thing (all three chapters), where I saw an interesting dichotomy concerning salvation. 2:11 says, "for the grace of God has appeared, with salvation for all people..." So salvation is obviously for all people. Yet in the same paragraph Paul says in verse 14, "He gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to cleanse for Himself a special people, eager to do good works." (Holman CSB)

So who are these special people in vs. 14 if salvation is for all people according to vs. 11?

Verses like these have convinced me that there are indeed two wills in God. The two wills being (1) God desires all to know Him and (2) He desires His glory above all else. Here we can see that clearly the grace of God and His salvation are for all peoples, He truly desires all to come to salvation, but at the same time He is setting apart a "special people" or a unique people. In one hand God desires all to know Him, but the fact is He is more about Himself and the salvation of a particular people. (vs. 14 also says that these people were cleansed not just for the sake of being cleansed, but "for Himself")

To my amazement, this has not made me unloving or a "cold-calvanist," but yet has showed me more of God and I can walk with Him deeper. It has actually encouraged me to live my life more for Him, a person "eager to do good works." And verses like this in Titus gives me great hope for the salvation of WA's in Paris, because it not up to me to save anyone, but it is the work of the Holy Spirit.

I just think that there is an idea out there somewhere, that people who believe things like the 2 wills in God and limited atonement aren't concerned with how they should live their lives or the salvation of others. But for me, it actually did quite the opposite, it made me more eager to live my life for the Lord and strengthened my desires to see the lost come to salvation.

There are tons of verses like this throughout all of scripture. To learn more about this idea of the two wills in God you can check this article by Piper or listen to this sermon by Matt Chandler of The Village Church in Dallas.

I would hope and pray that I would not be seen as a cold-hearted-calvanist, or a resounding gonge as 1Cor.13 describes someone who is full of theology and void of love, but yet be seen as someone who has grown in love as in the Lord. But I am still learning and still growing...

lesmills

2007-09-04T06:13:00.000-07:00

I've recently updated our website and I've changed a few things. You can go to the site here.

New Vision

2007-09-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

Ashley and I left for Belgium last Monday with some friends for a conference with all colleges around our cluster (France, Belgium, and Luxembourg). It was a mostly good time where we had the opportunity to meet new people and got a better understanding of what all is going on outside our Paris team.

It's always good to get out of Paris even for a little while. We got to see Luxembourg and Brussels, the capital of Belgium(which is more confusing to drive in than Paris). We got to eat some great waffles in Brussels and drove past the office of the European Union.

But really, what the conference did for me was remind me of the gifts and abilities that God has given me. I believe that God has given me a certain creativity that I am not using and believe whole heartily that he wants to use it for His saving purpose. I will be pursuing a slightly more creative approach to engaging West African's, all with the intentions of glorifying the Lord while building relationships here.

I'm almost a little afraid to say what I want to do, because I so often say I'm going to do something and then don't follow up on it. So, for now, pray for me as I take a few steps of faith...

current status: good

The Diaper Vest

2007-08-23T13:02:00.000-07:00

So I ran across this trying to get an idea of what kind of baby gear/cool diaper bags I could find and ran across this.

It's an actual product at dadgear.com

So get this...

2007-08-20T06:29:00.000-07:00

I have had the opportunity to take a language intensive class in Paris this past month. There are several students in my class from all over the world, though mostly from European countries.

I've become friends with a Muslim from Turkey. He is only in Paris studying French and will return home at the end of this week.

During our midday coffee break, we were talking about what we did after class the previous day and I mentioned that I read my bible some. He then asked my if I had a bible with me because, according to his words, "I have never seen one." I got the opportunity to share with him about the bible, how it was divided (Old and New Testament), and just some basic info.

He then, amazingly enough, asked me if I knew where he could buy one. And of course I knew and told him a few places, but that I might be able to find one in Turkish. To my amazement, he said he would rather have it in English because he wanted to read it in the original text!

Needless to say, I was pretty shocked to find out that he really thought that the bible was originally written in English.

I think this says a lot about how parts of the world view Christianity as a Western/Modern Religion. In reality, it is the oldest religion of them all, "for by [Christ]... all things were created through Him and for Him" (Col. 1:16).

I pray that my friend will find not a western religion in his new Turkish bible that I got him, but a loving, eternal Savior.

Big News

2007-08-19T10:39:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have already heard, but Ashley and I are going to have a baby!! Ashley is almost 9 weeks along and is doing great. We got to see the heart beat a couple of weeks ago and everything seems to be fine there as well.

We are extremely excited and feel blessed by God to be able to grow our family. We are also blessed to have a whole family here in Paris of which to share our joy. The baby will be born around March 25, that date will most likely change. We have requested to extend our stay to May 21 (we did this before we found out!) so that will give us roughly two months with a little Mills around the house before we
return home.

Please pray for Ashley and her health. Ashley was hospitalized three years ago with a pulmonary embolism, that is a blood clot in the lung. We found out that she has a blood deficiency that makes her susceptible to blood clots. The risk of blood clots goes up for any pregnant woman, and for Ashley it really goes up. She is having
to take blood thinners during the entire pregnancy by giving herself a shot every night.

Also, we live on the 5th floor of our apartment complex and there is no elevator. So please pray for added strength for two of us as the coming months will make it a little more difficult for Ashley to leave as often as we do.

Thank you for your prayers and support. Again we are extremely excited and hope that you will join us in our excitement.

current status: awesome. new macs are fun! thanks again FBC!

Community Doesn't Start With the Letter P

2007-08-19T08:58:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago I had the pleasure of meeting a volunteer team that was here working with some of our colleagues who work among the indigenous French. I had a very interesting conversation with the team leader concerning the church service of a church that we were visiting with them...

The church was Hillsong, an Australian based church movement that has been fairly successful in attracting young men and women. The service itself (Friday night) was okay. The worship was well done and the overall production fairly professional with great lighting and a cool stage set-up (not to mention is was all in English).

The preaching, however, was lacking....well...it was lacking Jesus. The pastor never actually read from the bible, only talked about it. Overall his sermon was about how we can live a good "God" life if we want and we should. He closed, of course, leading everyone into a prayer of repentance and acceptance. You know, THE Prayer, "Repeat these words after me..."

After the service was over, I asked what the team leader what he thought. In about four minutes he told me all the other cool post-modern churches he had visited, quoted John Piper, and gave me the Five P's of Church Planting.

So the church obviously has some problems, but one thing they have been able to do is break past certain cultural barriers and have successful small groups that meet through out the city. From what I understand, this is were the meat and growth of the church comes from.

The team leader said that the church lacked doctrine among other things, but one thing he didn't seem to mention was community. Not only do I think that is absolutely absurd to scale church planting down to five points (there are enough five points in theology), I think if we stop at doctrine the church is still missing out. What good is good doctrine if it's not going to be shared within a real community of believers.

So what does a real biblical community look like? How do the relationships within that community relate to one another? How does that work in church planting? I think that community goes much farther than the occasional get-together, or a meal at church, or even just going to church.

God is really beginning to show me new things concerning community which is transforming my idea of church. I think questions like these are so interesting to me because I don't think that I've ever really been apart of a real community. Some of that is probably my fault, but I wonder how far away real community is from our idea of church? I certainly don't have any real answers, just a lot of questions.

Back to School

2007-08-12T01:13:00.000-07:00

For the past two weeks I have returned to language school for an intensive session to continue my abilities in French. I heard someone say that the French language is the "Eternal Language" because it takes an Eternity to learn.

I think they were right.

Aside from being trying to understand the professor, who is French, and understand the concepts and new tenses I am learning, which are complicated, there is every other student in my class, each with his/her own accent.

Most people can pick my American accent off fairly easily, but I think that I am at least understandable. I even get compliments on my accent, very few. There are some students in my class, however, that obviously have a much wider and broader vocabulary base than I do, but I simply can't understand the words coming out.

The two accents that are most difficult for me to understand is the Spanish and Asian (any country in any part of Asia, they all sound the same in French), and probably in that order. Maybe I'm just used to the West African accent.

Then of course there is the French accent, I still have trouble with that as well.

Other than a few minor headaches and frustrations, the class is going extremely well and will help me not only bump me up to the next level of French, but help me be much more effective in ministry here.

Current Status: My ipod resurrected after being dead since February, so I got my 45 gigs of music back! We get new computer later this week, can't wait. Thanks FBC!!

Baptism in France

2007-07-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago I witnessed my first French baptism. It was a temporary baptistery which consisted of thick blue plastic held together by white pvc pipes for legs, the base, and the top edge; it held enough water to come up to about the waist line. The church doesn't have room for a fixed baptistery and so they move the temporary one in and out as needed.

The girl to be baptized was 25 and grew up in a Hindu family (who originated from India) until she was 10 and her parents became Jehovah Witnesses. She was shown by friends, several years later, the truth of Jesus, believed, and was saved.

Though her testimony was encouraging and the baptistery humble, the most striking thing was the service itself. The lady was given 15 minutes to explain her testimony to the congregation. Her testimony, by the way, did not just include the events surrounding her salvation, but included solid scriptural backing on the fullness of grace she received from Christ and that it was Him who saved her and not the events surrounding it (at least that was my interpretation). She put more glory on Christ for salvation than the events leading up to her salvation, a testimony rarely heard here or in the States. She and the pastor stepped into the water and they assumed the position for baptism. Her hands were cupped close to her nose and the pastor asked her two simple questions,

"Do you believe Jesus is the Son of God?"
"I believe it!" was her reply
"Do you believe Jesus died for you?"
"I believe it!"

After that the pastor did the normal "I baptize you..." and just as this happened she began to cry. Immediately after she came up from the water, instead of applauding, the congregation began singing a hymn as she climbed out of the water. Her parents, who are still Jehovah Witnesses, were there and the pastor preached on justification by faith. It was a Sunday I will never forget.

The French Christian's put a different emphasis on baptism than we do in the states, or at least as Southern Baptists. Most Christians here are not baptized until they are at least 18, they don't baptize a lot of teens and children. They do this because they see it as a very important decision and should really be reserved for those who fully understand its significance. Whether this view is right or wrong, I'm not sure. But to be baptized in France means to know certain of your salvation. This also means that whoever wants to be baptized here realizes that it is not by baptism itself that we are saved, but by the grace found on the cross in Jesus. I wonder how many children, teens, and adults (either Baptist or not) bank off an idea that says, "because I'm baptized I'm saved" and continue to go to church blind.

It really just made me re-think about the assurance of salvation, how serious it really is, and how baptism is/should be viewed. The baptism was one of the most encouraging things we have witnessed since being here and really was a breath of fresh air. I didn't even mention that we've been here for a full year and have only seen one baptism.

Current Status: Really good, plenty of rest after the Canyon team was here and made some great contacts while they were here. Computer still in question what is to happen.

One Year Ago

2007-06-09T09:18:00.000-07:00

As of yesterday, Ashley and I have been in France for a whole year. It is absolutely amazing to look back and see where we were a year ago. I had absolutely no history in French and had never been to France before. We started language school exactly one year today and have never really stopped.

It was extremely hot and we had never lived without an air conditioning before. Everything was awkward from language learning, to not understanding how to really get around and to having to get around on foot, to just going to the grocery store (I was always so scared that the person at the cash register would talk to me). I had never been in a foreign culture for more than 10 days and I had just moved to a culture that was very, very "foreign."

The past year hasn't been without it difficulties, struggles, and frustrations. And hang the fact that we are supposedly in a "western culture" and in the city of "love." Some people may see us as lesser m's because we aren't "suffering" as much as some others are. Simply because we live in an apartment instead of a mud hut and because our security level is a 1 instead of a 3, doesn't make me feel more at home. No matter what country we live in or what language we learn, it's not English we are learning and it's not Texas where we are living; things are completely different. And hang the idea that being married is supposed to help with those frustrations. I love Ashley more than ever after going through this past year with her, and our marriage has gotten so much stronger, but that in and of itself hasn't been without a certain level of frustration.

Needlessly to say our expectations from one year ago were really sobered once we began to learn what life was going to be like for us living in France, that is to say, it was much harder than we were expecting. But despite those things we can still see how far God has brought us in the past year. The verse in 2 Cor. when JC says to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" takes on a whole new meaning, the kind of meaning that one learns only by living and experience desperation.

God has been good to us and has been faithful to us throughout the entire year, even though our faith, trust, and hope in Him has wavered on more than one occasion. But then again His faithfulness overtaking ours is really what makes Him God. "Not to us, oh Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness"(Ps. 115:1).

We can only trust and believe that He will continue to be faithful and, I hope, we will be able to respond to Christ the way Paul did in 2 Cor, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Thank you for your prayers and we hope that you continue to pray for the West Africans here in Paris and our ministry among them.

current status: sad, the mac is dead and will need to get a new one in coming months

Ice, Western Europe, and "Real Money"

2007-06-03T14:00:00.000-07:00

So if you have ever traveled anywhere in Europe, you probably noticed that European's don't use a lot of ice. Getting ice at restaurants is very rare, especially when eating in a non-touristy area.

But this is, apparently, a big deal with a lot of Americans that come and visit Paris (the American's that move to Paris tend to pretty much get over it). And it is a problem that I simply do not understand. What is it about the "miracle" of ice that people can not give up for a week to ten days?

When traveling to India one has to expect not to eat any beef and drink nothing but bottled water, when traveling to West Africa you can expect to eat from a common bowl with your hands (even if you don't have your IMB issue of hand sanitizer) and drink nothing but bottled water, so when traveling to Paris why is it that having beef, silver ware, and drinkalbe tap water makes the smallest thing like the lack of ice becomes utterly unbearable?

Maybe it's because at first glance France appears to be a "Western Culture," which really means they drive vehicles, they have McDonalds and Starbucks, and drinkable tap water. So basically "western culture" really means American culture. They have all the comforts of the US, just no ice (and no Lipton tea to put it in). Maybe this is just a common misconception among those who don't travel, which also explains the confusion why the French don't take "real money"(dollars) as it has been called by some. ("Euros" is literally French for "fake money" j/k).

Maybe it's the French's fault for not catering to the needs of their customers, but then again what average American restaurant is going to go out of their way to get some good French cheese or bread for their occasional French customer? True, the typical French waiter is probably not as friendly or servant minded as the waiters in the US, but I can't really blame them when people show a blatant disregard and disrespect for their culture, and tourist wonder why the don’t get the ice they asked for.

All I'm saying is if your purpose for coming to Paris, or anywhere in France, is to learn about their culture the least of your problems is the lack of ice. And maybe a way for starting to love these people and this culture is by not asking for certain things like ice. Accepting what they give is complement enough no matter what culture in which you find yourself.

Current Status: Not too bad, the Mac is still down and needs to be serviced. But overall, not too bad.

Mac Break

2007-05-23T03:41:00.000-07:00

After two years of faithful service, my mac is taking an extended break. The power cord to my G4 has been severed and is currently useless. I have now been macless for 5 days. I've tried to replace it, but it takes time; plus we live in France where the solution is never a simple one. Hopefully soon my mac will resurrect with a new power cord stronger and better than ever.

This is the first real "crisis" that I've had with my mac, and this is after two years and it really has nothing to do with the computer itself, just the power cord. I've had to borrow my Dad's Dell while my parents are here visiting. So far I've had to restart it at least 4 times and hit control-alt-delete.

Status in France: tragic, but despite power cord issue, not bad.

Cameron, Comfort, and Atheists

2007-05-14T13:28:00.000-07:00

So I watched a little of the Cameron / Comfort debate with the atheists tonight for the first time on U-Tube and was pretty much annoyed at them. Seriously, their debating is twice as bad as their street evangelism.

And the couple representing the atheists weren't any better acting more like high school juniors who just read a philosophy book and got a B in physics. I don't know who these jokers are, but really both sides misrepresented big time.

I would like to see a similar, yet much more professional, debate with credible representatives from either side. But then again, really, should we as Christians "go after" the atheist community in such a way? Is it not giving them just as much of a public opportunity to push the beliefs of atheism? I don't think that debates and arguments are going to win over atheists to Christ, but rather through prayer and genuine faith in Christ to save his people.

So maybe Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort should run to their "prayer closets" instead of a microphone the next time they want to engage the atheists community, and maybe that's where they should stay.

The Switch: A New Blog

2007-05-13T14:57:00.000-07:00

The following is a copy from my previous blog that I just recently posted explaining my reasoning for a new blog:

I have decided to change a few things concerning this blog (the other blog). I have opened and have begun writing under a new blog; http://timothy-noise.blogspot.com/. The title of the blog is “Noise on A Page” and will be replacing this blog. I have done so for several reasons:

1. There are certain technological complications with our web site as far us uploading and how often we can upload. We only have a limited number of times that we can update our website limiting the number that I (we) can make posts on our blog. By moving I will have the freedom to write as often as I feel.
2. Not only will I be able to write more often, but each entry can now be a little more readable. There is a little more pressure to give lots of information per entry when I am limited on the amounts of entries I can make. I know how busy some of you are and you don’t always have time to read a long post.
3. It seems to be the cool thing to be on blogspot/blogger, I’m just trying to fit in.
4. Comments. Due to the issues with point 1 we had to do away with your ability to make comments and I really miss that! This way you will be able to leave as many comments and I can hear some of the thing that you think.
5. I have been writing mostly about spiritual things that I have been wrestling with, but I really want to give more day to day, just life kind of information. I now feel like I have the ability to do both being able to post more often.

We will still be using the web site, so we will continue to update the prayer page. I will be using this page (website blog) for something, I’m just not 100% sure what yet. Ashley, as for now, will still be using this web site for her blog so it is just me that will be changing. Our main goal with all this blogging and websites and stuff is simply so that you we can inform our prayer warriors, friends, and family all that we are doing and all that God is doing. We desperately need prayer and desperately want to see God do amazing things!

Election Time

2007-05-11T02:39:00.000-07:00

Last week Ashley and I watched the presidential debate here in France. The candidates didn't stand at podiums, that sat around a table and "discussed" issues (very french). The debate lasted around two hours and each candidate has about the same amount of speaking time. The two mediators, likewise, sat behind the candidates at the same table. Ashley and I couldn't believe that we were actually watching a professional debate.

Issues ranging from the 35 hour work week, to immigration, to public schools, 'Sarko' (Nickolas Sarkozy) and 'Sego' (Segolene Royal) battled it out. But in the end, the French chose Sarko by 53% mostly for his stances on economics and change. 7% of voters, who actually showed up to vote, cast a blank ballet to "voice" their opposition to both candidates. If those 7% would have actually picked a candidate, that may have been enough to swing the count the other direction.

Sarkozy really campaigned against illegal immigration and wants to solve some of the immigration problems in the suburbs(where we happen to live). So most of the Africans that we have talked to about it really don't like him at all. This could create another barrier in our ability to engage the West African culture here in Paris. We try not to get into too many political discussions, but they seem to bring up the issues a lot. We will see what life and ministry will be like from here, but only time will tell...

Trip to West Africa

2007-05-03T04:06:00.000-07:00

So Ashley and I just got back from a two week trip to West Africa. We went to learn more about the WA culture that we are trying to be apart of here in Paris. I had never been to Africa, but I had been to India; so I thought I knew what to expect as far as general third world culture. Nevertheless, there were plenty of things that I was not really prepared for. One thing was the heat. It got so hot, and specifically the region that we were traveling to was even more hot than other parts of the country.

One thing that I found so great about the WA culture was their openness and friendliness toward outsiders. It is very common to go visit a village but then to be treated like part of the family. If we were at a village during lunch time then they would feed us, and if we were to have been at a village at night they would have prepared a place for us to sleep. And once in a village a visitor is very much under the protection of the host family and as well as the whole village.

Anyways, I was extremely impressed with their hospitality. The Africans that we meet here in Paris are much more cautious and careful when new people hanging around, especially when they are white. The Africans here are extremely criticized and looked down upon. It must be terrible to leave a culture that is as open and hospitable as WA and move to a culture that is mostly closed off, introverted, and cold natured.

You could say that's what they get for moving here, but really, after seeing some of the villages that these guys are coming from, I can't really blame them for wanting to move to place where they will be able to provide for their families better...

Something Different

2007-03-26T02:05:00.000-07:00

I've decided to try this out. I had been using my website as my blog but I have decided to use that particular blog for just general/specific information about what I am doing; daily life stuff. This blog will include some of those things, but will also include pretty much anything that comes through my head.